What is considered a “family abduction?”

There are a few long-standing cases that involve a child missing with a parent that are not on the For the Lost site. In many circumstances, I will label such a family abduction. What makes them ruled out?

In some cases, insufficent evidence exists to determine whether there was really an abduction. El-Jahid Allah, for example, was last seen with his non-custodial father, but I can determine nothing besides that. For all I know, they were homicide victims. So unless a warrant is issued for his arrest, I will leave it off. Maribel Oquendo-Carrerro is listed in a few places as abducted by her father, but on NCMEC she’s just listed as endangered with no message about the dad. Once again, unless there is proof provided, I can’t put it up. In Kayla Rosa’s case, I can’t even figure out what parent she was with, or if they have since been found. (Sites have listed both her mother and her father as the parent she was last seen with.)

In some others, I doubt it was a family abduction at all. James and Ptah Diamond, for example. Ptah was visiting his father in Arizona at the time; he normally resided in Cleveland. Researching the case online one day, I came across a post by James’ mother that detailed suspicious circumstances in the case. It’s possible both will turn up, but I doubt it. I’d like to be proven wrong. (The post was on a web site that has since vanished and I’ve never found another copy, however I remember most of the details.)

Some past cases I left off the site because I believed the parent abducted the kid to kill them. The Porter kids, for example. I was proven right. I wish I wasn’t, but in that case they did not qualify.

I added a part to the FAQ section in our site about cases like that. I mentioned that in the unlikely event that the “abductor” was actually along with their child a victim of homicide, I would resolve the case with a note to that effect if found and merely remove with the note if suspicious circumstances came up. I named a specific case there (Paul and Sarah Skiba) but when I wrote it I was actually thinking of a particular case. It’s since been resolved and I feel free to name it now. That case was the one of Joseph Kennedy. I treated it as a family abduction and the only evidence to the contrary was the mother’s family insisting foul play was possible. They created a sliver of doubt in my mind, and I added the note to that effect. Of course, it was an abduction, Joseph and his mother were both fine, and they were found in Mexico. I’m still keeping it up there, though. I could stil be proven wrong.

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23 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    GannonSimms said,

    January 31, 2015 @ 12:59 am

    What IS and what is NOT a family abduction

    1. A US Citizen woman returns to her homeland with her children in tow and a signed affidavit acknowledging she intends to domicile her children there because she no longer wants to live abroad with her foreign national frequently absent husband who cares more about his professional athletic career than his wife and children. The mother takes the children to the US on holiday,puts a down payment on a residence,enrolls her children in local schools,returns to Italy as agreed upon after 3 weeks,and once again tries to persuade her husband to come with her and their children to the US. When he refuses she leaves for the US with the children at summer’s end for good. Husband knows EXACTLY where they are.

    2. Husband storms into the children’s American school a few weeks into the school year and starts showing his ass(excuse me but there’s really no other term for it) until the headmistress hands the children over to him just to get RID of him. Speeds to airport ,all the while berating the children for accompanying their mother to the United States as if they really had any choice at ages 7 and 9 and he hadn’t WILLINGLY signed for their passports, before his wife is notified and police are called. He is in possession of passports obtained from his native country and before police are able to alert the airport to NOT allow him to board a plane under any circumstances he purchases 3 one way tickets back to Europe with cold hard cash. The children are getting berated in his native language and are visibly upset but he is allowed to board the plane with them anyway. Though he is briefly asked a question about his children’s aesthetic features versus his own and he must explain about his Black Native American wife nothing else is done to challenge him. He hits the children during the short wait in the terminal and no one looks twice even when his “smack” to his 7 year old daughter’s bottom knocks her to the floor. He’s a damned pro basketball player for Christ’s sake and should have known his own strength but again no one said or did anything when he grabbed her by the shirt and by it flung her into a chair. Soon he boarded the plane with said 7 year old listless in his arms and DRAGGING his son who is screaming for his mother by the collar.

    *Once my father returned to Europe with my sister and me he said he would only return us to our mother if and ONLY if she returned to Europe and “divorced him properly” He had never been a big part of our lives up until then because as I said previously he cared more about his care than his wife and children and was frequently absent for months at a time. We spoke primarily English and desperately needed to be with our mother not to mention my father didn’t even try to change his selfish workaholic behavior any in order to care for his children after bringing us back to Europe. He hired nannies to replace our mother and kept only thinking of himself. My mother committed suicide when I was 12 and prior to that I had not seen her for nearly 3 years. I hold my father solely responsible for that. I was STOLEN as is was in my best interests and my rights as a child to to be with my mother in the United States.

    A child taken from the homeland of their mother IS a family abduction and a major moral sin!


  2. 2

    forthelost said,

    February 2, 2015 @ 12:44 am

    “A child taken from the homeland of their mother IS a family abduction and a major moral sin!”

    I don’t think that mothers own their children.

  3. 3

    GannonSimms said,

    February 9, 2015 @ 11:01 pm

    You are absolutely correct in that there are many cases when the mother should not care for her children as she is involved with drugs or a bad partner. I said my and my sister’s removal from the United States was a family abduction and major moral sin because not only were my parents married for a decade by that time allowing her to take us where she liked lawfully contingent she provided address and phone number but legal channels could have easily settled any disagreements about our permanent residence. It is highly likely that since my mother had cared for her children singlehandedly all our lives while her husband chased a pipedream professional athletic career staying away from home for months on end her request to reside with us in the United States permanently would have been honored. To avoid unfavorable circumstances and appearing a deadbeat my father dragged us on to a plane and took us back to Europe to fulfil a role as pawns to lure back our mother. Neither Italy or United States had ordered our return to Europe through proper Hague Treaty channels and my father never previously said his children could not leave Italy. He had no legal ground to stand on to justify our forced return to Europe. That is a family abduction. Flaunt the legal system and do as one pleases.

  4. 4

    Someone In Da Know said,

    February 1, 2015 @ 11:56 pm

    What IS/NOT a family abduction. A woman who is a born and bred US Citizen becomes pregnant by an illegal alien while living separately from her foreign national husband of 3 years. She expresses her plans to discontinue the affair with her live in lover and is attacked so viciously she lands in hospital. After a hasty reconciliation with her husband it is agreed that as soon as possible after the baby is born the husband will travel to the United States with passports for the soon to be born child and their toddler child also issued by his homeland and bring the three of them back to his country to reside permanently. In her eighth month of pregnancy the mother wakes to find her 2 year old daughter unresponsive in co. She “twernt no dummy” and told the ambulance straight away her lover murdered her child. Her lover was arrested and 6 weeks after the birth of her son she and her husband cross into Mexico with the infant and take a direct flight from Mexico City to Sao Paolo before crossing into the husband’s country of birth. Fast forward 7 years and the child is walking to school with his nanny. A car pulls up alongside and two men assault the nanny and place the boy in their vehicle before speeding off. After the nanny arrives at the school and the parents as well as police are alerted the airport and neighboring countries are inform to arrest the assailants and return the boy to his parents. After a nationwide search and the boy is located the assailants claim to be relatives of the mother’s ex lover and insist they did nothing wrong taking the boy since the mother had brought him from the United States to Argentina secretly. They were informed that besides the mother’s husband being viewed as the boy’s father by wedlock laws in both countries his mother was 100% FREE to take HER child anywhere she damned well pleased and anyone objecting was persona non grata. Who were relatives of a child killer to lay claim to the child of another man and whose mother had fled her homeland explicitly to save the life of her remaining child? No crime had been committed in either country yet for years I was listed on several sites as “missing”. Why the Hell anyone thought my mother would have give half a thought to allowing the man who MURDERED her eldest child or his kin anywhere near another child of hers’! Sites like these do a real disservice to children taken abroad by their mothers by failing to research and get ALL the facts before helping to promote heresy. I NEVER was abducted by my mother. I have ALWAYS been legally the child of my mother’s husband. I CHOOSE not to travel to the United States as a grown man and don’t even own a US Passport as I am citizen/passport holder of the two country’s my mother’s husband holds dual nationality in. Parental Abduction is solely a North American concept not accepted elsewhere.

  5. 5

    forthelost said,

    February 2, 2015 @ 1:02 am

    “Parental Abduction is solely a North American concept not accepted elsewhere.”

    Go search the “family abduction” category on the ICMEC site. Out of 636 cases, 110 aren’t from North America. And yes, Argentina is one of them. 34 of them to be exact.

  6. 6

    Someone In Da Know said,

    February 3, 2015 @ 9:58 pm

    Mi madre es de los Estados Unidas de América. Soy de Argentina por 23 años.
    I am multi lingual obviously.My mother is from the United States and has never learned to speak much Spanish. I was born in the United States but have live in Argentina since I was 6 weeks old.
    Being a black woman in a 97% European descended country
    it isn’t expected my mother knows Spanish and most of her talking is done by her husband or children. At home English is spoken exclusively. I do know Portuguese and Gaelic also. I pick my language according to my mood more or less. When responding to “Satu Mare” a person longtime lying and harassing only Spanish would do.

  7. 7

    forthelost said,

    February 3, 2015 @ 11:08 pm

    You’re very fortunate. I always wish I could learn more languages.

    Out of curiosity, do you know Scots Gaelic or Irish Gaelic?

  8. 8

    Someone In Da Know said,

    February 3, 2015 @ 11:40 pm

    @forthelost, I know Scottish Gaelic. My father’s mother originated from the lowlands of Scotland.

  9. 9

    Mimsa said,

    February 13, 2015 @ 10:59 pm

    What a horrific story! In this case the mother had EVERY RIGHT/OBLIGATION to take her newborn baby and run but such cases are rare and many parents don’t have much justification aside from petty personal reasons. If all abduction cases involving Argentina were analyzed I am willing to bet your case would be the sole exception.

  10. 10

    MikaithePrudent said,

    February 4, 2015 @ 9:43 pm

    Why not use passport records of the child and other parent to locate? Many years ago when I as a little girl of 5 or 6 was spirited out of the United States by my foreigner father police knew the airport he arrived and departed from with me in tow,where the plane was going,and his exact nationality though my mother herself was unsure. There was nothing she could do to bring me back and soon frankly I refused to return to her custody(threatened to harm myself if forced and psychologists agreed I should not return…) but I wasn’t ever truly lost. In this digital age it is mind boggling that any person could be truly lost when big brother watches everyone like criminals! If the child isn’t in the country of residence and one of the parents is a foreign national or has legal right to reside permanently in another country then the child must be in that country!

  11. 11

    forthelost said,

    February 4, 2015 @ 9:55 pm

    One, abductor are not always in their country of origin, and two, many children travel on false passports. (If you’re going out of the country, no passport check is needed, as well.)

  12. 12

    MikaithePrudent said,

    February 4, 2015 @ 10:27 pm

    I know passports are faked. I traveled on a fake passport. Authorities reasoned that if my father had a kid in tow whilst leaving the US then it had to be me. And though no check is needed to leave a check IS needed in most every other countries when one gets off a plane in another country(the United States is unique that only one parent can bring and leave with a kid no questions asked) with a child in tow. The fake passport issued by his homeland was scanned along with his own real passport creating a digital trail that led to Jordan. He didn’t take me over to Israel(which issued the passports) for a few months hoping not to be traced but obviously that didn’t work because the attorney acting for my mother who filed Hague knew to petition Israeli courts and God knows my mother didn’t know geography to save her life so she didn’t locate us and the information had to come from ICE or law enforcement. Experience leads me to believe that 1.American authorities aren’t doing all they can to assist parents seeking their children’s whereabouts/parents don’t insist or 2. Parents know where their children are domeciled and refuse to visit due to unfavorable custody agreements(such as I experienced. When told I would not return my mother flat out refused to come to Haifa). Either way it is impossible to be vanished from the face of Earth if one has ever been a citizen of or born in a westernized industrial nation of the digital age.

  13. 13

    MikaithePrudent said,

    February 4, 2015 @ 10:39 pm

    Correct me if I am wrong but your children are NOT lost are they if they live with your in laws where your husband grew? It is very rare peoples in that part of the world relocate or change phone numbers. Why not just ask your husband for his childhood address and phone number and attempt to contact your children yourself at the grandparents home or why haven’t you already done that?

  14. 14

    forthelost said,

    February 4, 2015 @ 10:54 pm

    “1.American authorities aren’t doing all they can to assist parents seeking their children’s whereabouts/parents don’t insist or 2. Parents know where their children are domeciled and refuse to visit due to unfavorable custody agreements”

    The first, and to a degree the second – many parents try to visit the child and are refused, and in a great deal of countries visitation is not enforced.

  15. 15

    forthelost said,

    February 4, 2015 @ 11:39 pm

    I don’t know. I removed the comment, though.

  16. 16

    MikaithePrudent said,

    February 5, 2015 @ 7:52 am

    You must be joking! Nobody leaves North Korea!

  17. 17

    MikaithePrudent said,

    February 5, 2015 @ 8:53 pm

    Whatever! Your kids probably won’t ever look for you because you ABANDONED them! There’s a big difference in thinking about visiting and actually doing it!

  18. 18

    forthelost said,

    February 9, 2015 @ 8:04 pm

    Okay, enough. Take your bickering elsewhere, everyone arguing about this case. Any more comments about it will be deleted.

  19. 19

    By Jehovah's Grace said,

    February 19, 2015 @ 1:47 pm

    A lot of it is related to domestic violence especially when it is a woman fleeing. She’s going to her homeland hoping for protection she felt wasn’t given in the country she is leaving. I personally know of such a case. It was not an outgoing abduction but incoming since my mother in law is a United States Citizen and brought her three small children into America though they were born abroad. She was running away from a very abusive relationship with their father assisted by the religious organization we are all members of. He belonged to a criminal faction that answered to one of the world’s most powerful mafias and had threatened violent deaths against her and their children if she left yet the country where they resided would do nothing. They didn’t take violence against women and children seriously and attributed it to her being a bad partner. After 8 years with a man she didn’t know what he thought from one moment to the next and if any given day was going to be the last spent in the realm they escaped him by climbing out a window while he was drunk and were concealed by brethren until a grander escape could be planned. Back in the US she was at least able to report his abuses and threats and be taken semi seriously. That was 16-17 years ago. Since then they been concealed throughout the United States and Canada under aliases by our religious organization and will remain so though her children are grown until according to my MIL “somebody shows me him DEAD in his casket!” Admittedly she was briefly detained once in British Columbia her and her children manage to flee before any personal information could be discovered. Life on the run is difficult,nerve wrecking and dangerous,but it is often much more preferable to prior circumstances.

  20. 20

    forthelost said,

    February 19, 2015 @ 10:13 pm

    For the record, I have seen and dealt with hundreds of parental kidnapping cases. How many of them have I thought were truly motivated by a concern for the well-being of the child? Two. How many of those did I think there was a real concern for said child’s well-being? One. And both of those involved grandmothers abducting the child.

  21. 21

    2nd Twin said,

    February 20, 2015 @ 11:21 pm

    @Bronte aka J.A Perez-Murkowski , PLEASE contact your left behind and grief struck mother! Here’s the cellphone number and e-mail address. 701-610-3382 and mastermarine62@yahoo.com. You were and STILL ARE very much loved! Your mother and big brothers and sister miss you EVERY DAY!!!! WE LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU,BABY GIRL!!!! Regardless of what your daddy told you,the lies about you living in the ghetto and getting beaten all the time in order to turn you against your Black mother,and what happened in the past you are very much CHERISHED by your TRUE family. You NEVER lived in a violent gang filled ghetto here in the United States and was very rarely spanked. These are straight up LIES he told you to manipulate you into wanting to stay with him. Believe it or not you were NOT sent to Israel willingly by your mother. You were STOLEN during an overnight visitation right in the city of San Antonio Texas where you were being raised. If your mother knew ahead of time what was going to go down you would have NEVER seen your daddy that time or any other time! You’ve been in Israel for 15 years. You’re a grown woman. You might not eveh speak English anymore. You probably accept his lies as the Gospel Truth. So much time has passed and so much needs to be worked out via true communications between you and us ,your mother and older half siblings(as your daddy called your mother’s other children). You’ve heard his story repeatedly for over a decade. Now we want to tell you our story. It distresses our mother very much that you’re a grown woman now yet have no interest in coming back to the United States. When you were young your daddy would send random pictures to your mother with mocking quotes like, “She sure looks happy without you as her mother!” and “This dark haired beauty will NEVER know you!” He tormented her. I am your second eldest brother btw 7 1/2 years older. You’re a citizen and can live in Israel for the rest of you choose but we also want you to realize and understand your ROOTS are in the United States where you was born,lived for 6 years speaking only English,and was spoilt rotten. I could show you so many pictures of yourself as a little girl in Texas, celebrating your birthday with parties and smiling contentedly with us your siblings. So much evidence exists to PROVE you were happy and ADORED living in Texas with your mother and siblings but almost NONE to prove you were beaten and intentionally made sick as your daddy claimed. You had Asthma,Epilepsy,and a very weak immune system that often landed you in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. No way you were abused intentionally because your mother had gone Bankrupt twice to pay for your medical bills! I really wish you would just contact us and let’s hash it out to gain closure. Before I go your mother would like to say something.

    Hopefully our words aren’t deleted before you read them baby sister.

    *”No-No(your old nickname), this your mother. Do you remember me? Your Mommy regrets ever letting that man anywhere near you so much. There hasn’t been a day that goes by I don’t think about you. You’re my little gray eyed baby and I would still UNHESITATINGLY give my life for yours’ even nearly 21 years after your birth. I’m your mother and ONLY I can love you like that. Your daddy cannot and will not do that for you. I have made many mistakes concerning you and this situation eventually washing my hands of you in frustration when you refused to come back to the US. I couldn’t understand why you hated me so much. I came to realize your daddy gave you things I could not as a single high school educated mother of 4 children. I accept that now. Now I just want to see your face and hear your voice and have you understand that the situation didn’t play out as you were told. You are one of the four loves of my life,Beloved. You are my youngest child but definitely not least child. Your Mommy will be waiting on you until the end of time. Go home soon…

    We loved you 1st and most! Contact us very soon and let’s start healing together.

    *To the owner of this site: sorry to ramble but this is where the first authentic internet activity from my family’s long abducted loved one has been found. We know of no other way to possibly reach her. This is the best we can do

  22. 22

    Zion said,

    February 21, 2015 @ 12:52 am

    Hey, I am the 16 year son of LisaRenna and would like to report my older brother and sister contacted my parents earlier this month via web cam from Russia after reading messages on your site. They are both doing good despite the war and stuff. They’re in college there. They’re not missing anymore at all since it is known they live in Vladivostok where my dad was born now. Also we talk to them every Sunday morning on webcam and they are coming to the United States in the summer. So could you please delete all the messages between my mammie ‘LisaRenna’ and my paternal uncle “Rahn Jae-Eun”? My brother and sister are lost no more! They are FOUND in Far East Russia,alive and reasonably well!

  23. 23

    l Charity said,

    February 27, 2015 @ 11:23 pm

    Unless the circumstances are VERY SPECIFIC the police don’t care. My little sister was sent to her biological father in Montreal by our mother at age 9 under false pretenses(he had promised to do a lot of really nice things like enroll in her private school and make her bilingual.) for what was supposed to be no more than 2 years. Previously she had lived SOLELY in the United States with mother and older siblings and the father wasn’t involved at all only sporadically paying Child Support. Within a few days of arriving my sister called crying and upset telling our mother she wanted to come home. Our mother demanded the father send her back to the States,but her ex chose then to reveal his true colors and ulterior motives. He refused to return her and ranted that he was taking over her upbringing therefore absolving himself of any financial obligations. Of course our mother went straight to the police, but despite ample evidence the father had NO RIGHTS to domicile or make any decisions they refused to help. Even when our mother produced the child’s US issued Birth Certificate which has no father listed or father’s signature they didn’t care. They told my mother she shouldn’t have f—— a foreigner in the first place or given her child to him and she was on her own. Our mother passed away from Cervical Cancer a few years later,but my sister did not know about it until after she returned to the United States on her own accord a couple of years ago aged 19. The rage she had over the whole situation was mostly directed at our late mother who she felt “did not fight hard enough or at all for me”. It was almost impossible to attempt to explain that American authorities didn’t consider her missing making legal action impossible. Shortly after she returned to Canada of her own accord vowing to NEVER to return to the United States. Her own homeland had failed her.

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